The Superiority of the Mother Over the Father

The Superiority of the Mother Over the Father

Translated and compiled

By

Abbas Abu Yahya

1- From Abu Hurairah –RadhiAllaahu anhu– who said: A man came to the Messenger of Allaah sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam and said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah who from the people is the most deserving of my good companionship?

The Messenger sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam replied: ‘Your mother.’

The man said: ‘then who?’

The Messenger sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam replied: ‘Your mother.’

The man said: ‘then who?’

The Messenger sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam replied: ‘Your mother.’

The man said: ‘then who?’

The Messenger sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said: ‘Your father.’

[In another narration: ‘. . . . . the next closest relative then those closest after them.’]

[Collected in ‘Adab al-Mufrad’ no.3, Tirmidhi and ‘Irwaa al-Ghaleel’ 829/2232, declared Hasan by Albaani.]

[In another narration: ‘A man came to the Prophet of Allaah  sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam and said: ‘What do you order me with?’ The Messenger  sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said: ‘Be good to your mother.’

Collected by ‘Adab al-Mufrad’ no. 6]

[Collected by Bukhari in ‘Kitaab al-Adab’ in the second chapter: ‘Who from the people is the most deserving of my good companionship?’ and also collected by Muslim in ‘Kitaab al-Birr wa Silat wal Adab’]

Imam Nawawee said in his explanation of this hadeeth:

‘The Scholars have said: the reason for the superiority of the mother is due to her becoming tired on your account, her compassion, her serving you, suffering hardship while being pregnant with you, then giving birth to you, then suckling you, then bringing you up, serving you, nursing you and other things.’

[Taken from the ‘Sharh Saheeh Muslim’ 16/80]

Ibn Hajr quotes Ibn Battaal in the explanation of this hadeeth:

Ibn Battaal said: ‘Malik was asked: my father requests me to do something but my mother prevents me from it.’

Imam Malik answered: ‘Obey your father and do not disobey your mother.’

[‘Fath ul Bari’10/402]

2- ‘Asma bint Abu Bakr said: ‘My mother came to me and she is a Mushrikah (Non-Muslim) at the time of the Messenger of Allaah sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam, so I asked the Messenger of Allaah sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam about this and I said to him: ‘My mother has come to me, and she is asking for me to be good to her, should I keep good relations with my mother?

The Messenger of Allaah sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said: ‘Keep good relations with her.’

[Collected by Bukhari, Muslim and in the wording mentioned by Abu Daawood: ‘Asma –RadhiAllaahu anha– said: ‘… and she hates Islaam.’ ‘Saheeh Targheeb  wa Tarheeb’ p.657 no. 2500]

Ibn Uayainah said: Allaah –Azza wa Jall – revealed << Allaah does not forbid you from dealing justly and kindly with those who did not fight against you on account of religion >> [al-Mumtahina: 8] regarding her.

[Collected by Bukhari in ‘Adab al-Mufrad’ no. 25, declared Saheeh by Albani in ‘Saheeh Abu Daawood’ (1468)]

3- It is narrated from Talha bin Muaaweeyah as-Sulamee –RadhiAllaahu anhu– who said I came to the Prophet sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam and said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah! Indeed I want to participate in Jihaad in the path of Allaah.

The Prophet sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said: ‘Is your mother alive?’

I said: ‘Yes.’

The Prophet sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said: ‘Stay at her feet, for there is Paradise.’

[Collected by Tabraani and Albani declared it Saheeh li Ghayreehi in ‘Saheeh Targheeb  wa Tarheeb’ 2/2484 p.649]

In  a similar narration from Muaaweeyah bin Jaahimah where the Prophet sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said: ‘Stick to your mother, since indeed Paradise is at her feet.’

[Collected by Ibn Majah, Nisa’ee and Albani declared it Hasan Saheeh in ‘Saheeh Targheeb  wa Tarheeb’ 2/2485]

In a similar hadeeth the Prophet sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam asked: ‘Do you have parents?’

I said: ‘Yes.’

The Prophet sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said: ‘Stick to them, since indeed Paradise is under their feet.’

[Collected by Tabraani and Albani declared it Hasan Saheeh in ‘Saheeh Targheeb  wa Tarheeb’ no. 2485]

4 – From Ibn Umar –RadhiAllaahu anhu–  who said: ‘A man came to the Prophet sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam and said: ‘Indeed I have committed a major sin, is there any repentance for me?’

The Prophet sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said: ‘Do you have a mother?’

He answered: ‘No.’

The Prophet sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said: ‘Do you have an aunt (mother’s sister)?’

He answered: ‘Yes.’

The Prophet sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said: ‘Then be good to her.’

[Collected by Tirmidhi,  and declared Saheeh by Albani and in the wording collected by Ibn Hibban and Hakim: ‘Do you have parents?’  ‘Saheeh Targheeb  wa Tarheeb’ p.658 no. 2504]

5- From al-Mughirah bin Shaybah –RadhiAllaahu anhu– from the Prophet sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam who said: ‘Indeed Allaah has prohibited you from being disobedient to your mothers, and burying your daughters alive, to withhold from what Allaah has allowed, claiming something which you do not have the right to claim.  And Allaah dislikes gossiping and excessive questioning, and wasting wealth.

[Collected by Bukhari]

From the Athaar of the Salaf

6- From Sa’eed bin Abu Burdah from his father who said: Ibn Umar –RadhiAllaahu anhu– said: he was making Tawaaf and he saw a man making Tawaaf while carrying his mother saying:

Indeed I am like her submissive camel ** Even if her ride becomes startled I will not become startled and run away

I carry her since she carried me more, do you think that I have paid her back O Ibn Umar?  He said No, not even one breath while giving birth.’

[Taken from ‘Akhbar as-Salaf’ p.268, ‘Mukarim al-Akhlaaq’ p.225, & ‘Adab al-Mufrad’ No.11 and authenticated by Albaani]

7- From Abu Hazim: that Abu Huraira –RadhiAllaahu anhu– did not perform Hajj until his mother died.

[Collected in ‘Mukarim al-Akhlaaq’ p.80, taken from ‘Akhbar as-Salaf’ p.268]

8 – From Muhammad who said: ‘There was a date palm which bore one thousand dates, so Usamah bin Zayd –RadhiAllaahu anhu– went to these dates and cut them off the tree due to their beauty.  He was asked about it, so he said: Indeed my mother mentioned to me that she would love to have them, and there is nothing from the Duniya that my mother wants and I have the capability of getting except that I will get it for her.’

[Collected in ‘Mukarim al-Akhlaaq’ p.225, taken from ‘Akhbar as-Salaf’ p. 268]

9 – From Ibn Abbas –RadhiAllaahu anhu– that a man came to him and said: ‘I proposed to a woman but she refused to marry me, someone else proposed to her and she liked him and married him.  I became jealous over her and I killed her, can I repent from this?’

Ibn ‘Abbas asked: ‘Is your mother alive?’

He answered: ‘No.’

Then Ibn Abbas said: ‘Repent to Allaah –Azza wa Jal- and come close to Him as much as you can.’

The narrator said: I went and asked Ibn ‘Abbas –RadhiAllaahu anhu-: ‘Why did you ask him whether his mother was alive?’

Ibn Abbas –RadhiAllaahu anhu– answered: ‘Indeed I do not know of an action closer to Allaah –Azza wa Jal- than being good to ones mother.’

[Collected by Bukhari in ‘Adab al-Mufrad’ no.4, declared Saheeh by Albaani in ‘Silsilah as-Saheehah’ 2799]

10  – From Abu Hazim that Abu Murrah, the freed slave of Umm Hani the daughter of Abu Taalib informed him that he rode with Abu Hurairah to al-Aqeeq where his land was. When he entered his land he yelled at the top of his voice: ‘O my mother Assalamu alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Baraktuhu

She replied: ‘Wa alayka assalam wa Rahmatullaahi wa Baraktuhu

He said: ‘May Allaah have mercy upon you as you brought me up when I was small.’

She said: ‘O my son, and likewise to you, may Allaah reward you with goodness and may He be pleased with you, as you look after me while I am old.’

[Collected by Bukhari in ‘Adab al-Mufrad’ No.14, and Albaani declared it to have a Hasan Isnaad]

11 – From ‘Atta that a person’s mother took an oath from him that he should not pray except the obligatory prayer and not to fast except Ramadan, ‘Atta said: Obey her!’

[Collected in ‘al-Birr’ by Ibn al-Jawzi p.67, taken from ‘Akhbar as-Salaf’ p.269]

12 – From Humaid who said: When Umm Eyaas bin Muaaweeyah died, Eyaas cried, it was said: ‘What makes you cry?’ He said: ‘I used to have two doors open towards Paradise and one of them has been closed.’

[Collected in ‘al-Birr’ by Ibn al-Jawzi p.68, taken from ‘Akhbar as-Salaf’ p.269]

13- Muhammad bin al-Munkadir said: ‘I spent the night massaging my mother’s leg and Umar spent the night praying. His night would not make me happier than my night.

[Collected in ‘al-Hileeyah’ 3/150, taken from ‘Akhbar as-Salaf’ p.269]

14 – From Jafar bin Sulayman who said: Muhammad bin al-Munkadir used to place his cheek on the floor, and then say to his mother: ‘place your foot upon it!’

[Collected in ‘Mukarim al-Akhlaaq’ p.226, taken from ‘Akhbar as-Salaf’ p.270]

15 – From Ibn ‘Awn who said: ‘Muhammad bin Sireen used to when he was with his mother lower his voice and speak slowly.’

[Collected in ‘Mukarim al-Akhlaaq’ p.226, taken from ‘Akhbar as-Salaf’ p.270]

16 – From al-Hasan that a man said to him: Indeed I made Hajj and indeed my mother has given me permission to perform another Hajj.’  So al-Hasan said: ‘To sit with her at her table is more beloved to me than your Hajj [i.e. optional Hajj].

[Collected in ‘Mukarim al-Akhlaaq’ p.227, taken from ‘Akhbar as-Salaf’ p.270]

17 – From Hisham who said: Hafsah bint Sireen used to ask for Allaah’s mercy upon her son Huthayal and say: He would go and get reed and stalks to make a fire, he would peel them and gather them in the summer time, so when it is lit it would not produce smoke.  When it came to winter time he would come and sit behind me while I prayed and he would light a small fire so that I could feel the warmth from it and so that the smoke from it would not bother me. I used to say to him O my son it is night time go to your wife and he would say: ‘O mother I know what you want.’

She continued: ‘If I did not continue saying it to him perhaps he would be there till the morning time!’

[Collected in ‘al-Birr’ by Ibn al-Jawzi p.53, taken from ‘Akhbar as-Salaf’ p.270]

18- From ‘Alee bin al-Hussain that it was said to him that you are from the best amongst the people but I do not see you eating with your mother?’

He answered: ‘I fear that, if I eat with her, my hand might precede her eye upon some food, so I would have been disrespectful to her! !’

[Collected in ‘al-Birr wa Silaah’ p.82, taken from ‘Akhbar as-Salaf’ p.270]

19 – From Mansoor who said: ‘It has been said that the mother receives three quarters of al-Birr [being good to her].’

[Collected in ‘al-Hileeyah’ 5/42, taken from ‘Akhbar as-Salaf’ p.271]

20 – From Abu Bakr bin ‘Aeeyash who said: ‘I was sitting with Mansoor in his house, and his mother came and she was harsh and said: ‘O Mansoor, Ibn Hubayrah wants you to be a judge and you refused!?’  Mansoor did not raise his eyes up to look at her and his beard would touch his chest due to lowering his head.’

[Collected in ‘al-Birr’ by Ibn al-Jawzi p.53, taken from ‘Akhbar as-Salaf’ p.271]

21 – From al-Hasan bin Nuh who said: Khamas used to work using plaster every day for two small coins, and when the evening would approach he would buy a piece of fruit with that and bring it to his mother!’

[Collected in ‘al-Hileeyah’ 6/212, taken from ‘Akhbar as-Salaf’ p.271]

22 – From Mughira who said: Talq bin Habeeb used to help his mother with her work.’

[Collected in ash-Shuyb/7543, taken from ‘Akhbar as-Salaf’ p.271]

23 – From Hafsa bint Sireen who said: Umm Muhammad bin Sireen was a woman from the Hijjaz, and she loved dyed clothing.  When Muhammad would buy her clothing he would buy her the softest material that could be found, and if it was close to Eid he would have her clothing dyed.’

[Collected in ‘Tabaqaat’ by Ibn Sa’d 7/228 taken from ‘Akhbar as-Salaf’ p.271]

24 – ‘Amr bin Ubayr used to visit Khamas he would greet him with Salaams and sit with him and his companions. So his mother said to him: ‘Indeed I see this person and his companions and I dislike them, and I am not impressed by them so do not sit with them.’ ‘Amr and his companions came to him and he came close to them, and said: Indeed my mother dislikes you and your companions so do not visit me.’

[Collected in ‘al-Hileeyah’ 6/212, taken from ‘Akhbar as-Salaf’ p.272]

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